Awesome or Not 2: Zheng He

If your unfamiliar with the rules, go and find the first post. Anyways, this post, I’ll be determining the awesomeness level of Zheng He.

Here he is.

Here he is.

Now, based on this picture and anything you already know about this guy, tell me your opinion:

Now, my view on appearance.

  • Fancy robe. Looks like a relaxed guy and all.
  • I want that hat.
  • Looks like he’s on some sort of boat.
  • Notice how he keeps that look on his face, but still holds that sword. Sorta saying “Hey, I’m pretty sure I can cut you with my eyes closed.”
  • Lack of facial hair.

Overall, I’m gonna give him good marks for appearance.

Onto achievements.

  • Explored the seas for China. But that’s not the best part. This is the size of the boat. And wasn’t it Teddy Roosevelt who said “Speak Chinese softly, but sail a huge boat.”? Yes.
  • He could have potentially discovered America in 1421. 71 years before Columbus. (Even though the guy’s theory has been dismissed as crap, it’s still pretty cool to read.)
  • Thought to be the origin of Sinbad. Because he went to Persia and all. Here’s his voyage map.
  • Basically second in command to this Yongle emperor guy. Yongle is a funny word.
  • He did all this and more despite the fact that he was a eunuch.

Anti-achievements to wrap it up.

  • He was a eunuch.
  • Eunuchs of the time carried around their…removed parts…in jars. Possibly pickled. It’d make a conversation a bit awkward.

And that’s all I can think up. And here we go. Zheng He is…


And there you have it! Looks like the kind of guy that would go barbequing (Yes!) and have a party. If it weren’t for his -cough- pickle jar.

Update: Added a rating mechanism at the bottom of the post (at least when you’re just on the post and not the main page).

Coming next: Observations

7 Responses to Awesome or Not 2: Zheng He

  1. G Eagle Esq says:

    Monsieur Penguin

    Perhaps he achieved so much because he was a Eunuch … and because he wasn’t quite Chinese

    BUT having outRAGEouly enormous abilities


    being the right man in the right place must have helped


    ?? What does the unFortunate (former-British Colony of) Somliland have to do with this Distinguished Admiral

    I have the honoUr to remain your obedient servant and an impertinently great enjoyer of your Blogge etc

    G Eagle

    Rating *****

  2. G Eagle Esq says:

    Monsieur Penguin

    err … Somaliland

    It’s those awkward Talons and bad reading glasses – better at spotting prey from 500 feet high

    Your obedient servant etc

    G Eagle

    PS US Spelling may be briefer, but isn’t there something etymologically & aesthetically pleasing about :

    TraveLling through Plough & Honour

    Surely a Glorious Republic beyond the Pond founded on Solid Farming Values should favoUr such a Motto

    Hiccupping thru Plow & Humor does not look right

  3. Thanks for dropping in, geagle.
    That plough and honour thing is pretty handsome, I’ll give you that. I was unaware of that motto as well, so thanks for the enlightenment. I’m more of an SPQR person myself.

  4. Tony says:

    I voted NOT AWESOME. Nothing awesome about a bloke in a dress

  5. Har har. I consider it more of a bath robe myself. But that’s probably just me.

  6. G Eagle Esq says:

    Bonjour, Monsieur Penguin

    Salve [Hi, Dude]

    I flatter myself that I agree with Senor AnTONIo on so many things

    – apart from whether Tasmania should be towed a few miles Southwards and Given to New Zealand for the Better Protection of its enDangered Wild=life

    – is it Tasmanian Devils who are all dying of Cancer … Australian Federal Authorities have been hardly assiduous in persuading these impressionable young Marsupials against the Evils of Smoking

    I s’pose if he were an American, he would naturally give the Old Admiral due respect :

    After all, a Society armed with Heaters under the 2nd Amendment is a Polite Society

    As a Rooinek, I’m all for Politeness – especially I noticed that (almost) Chinese Gentleman’s scarcely concealed Weapon, behind his back

    Vale [Ciao]

    Aquila non Candida

  7. Geagle, salve reduco tibi. Scio Latina pariter.

    But enough of my bad Latin. If Tasmania were given to New Zealand, would they still have awesome money?

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