Awesome Or Not 3: Sargon

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Here we go, third installment.


Once again, on a basis of previous knowledge and appearance, what do you think?


  • He has a funny hat. Wait… is that a hat? I have no idea.
  • All representations of him are made in rock or metal, so you can tell he’s a pretty solid guy. Click.
  • The first person I’ve judged to have facial hair. That’s good marks.

And on account of him being dead for 4224 years, that’s all I have for appearance. I’m gonna milk him of achievements and unachievements. Mostly from wikipedia. Here goes nothing.


  • The story of his life is called the “Sargon Legend,” which is pretty much pimping.
  • Overthrew this guy in the city-state of Kish after he became the guy’s cup-bearer. That was apparently significant back then, and better than man-fanner, grape-bowl-holder, etc. But I’m not quite sure how it was better than liquid-pourer. If I was a cup-bearer, I wouldn’t want to start handing people random cups, granted that would be fun, standing out in the streets, giving passers-by cups. But enough of that.
  • He made the first empire in history to ever exist ever. That’s pretty impressive.
  • He had a cool name.

Why did I choose this guy? Anyway, unachievements:

  • He may be some bible guy named Nimrod. Yes. Nimrod.
  • He has a great-great-great grandchild named Dudu.

And that’s all I have to say. This is a tough decision… I’m gonna have to make him…


But just on the verge of awesome.

Awesome or Not 2: Zheng He

Monday, August 10, 2009

If your unfamiliar with the rules, go and find the first post. Anyways, this post, I’ll be determining the awesomeness level of Zheng He.

Here he is.

Here he is.

Now, based on this picture and anything you already know about this guy, tell me your opinion:

Now, my view on appearance.

  • Fancy robe. Looks like a relaxed guy and all.
  • I want that hat.
  • Looks like he’s on some sort of boat.
  • Notice how he keeps that look on his face, but still holds that sword. Sorta saying “Hey, I’m pretty sure I can cut you with my eyes closed.”
  • Lack of facial hair.

Overall, I’m gonna give him good marks for appearance.

Onto achievements.

  • Explored the seas for China. But that’s not the best part. This is the size of the boat. And wasn’t it Teddy Roosevelt who said “Speak Chinese softly, but sail a huge boat.”? Yes.
  • He could have potentially discovered America in 1421. 71 years before Columbus. (Even though the guy’s theory has been dismissed as crap, it’s still pretty cool to read.)
  • Thought to be the origin of Sinbad. Because he went to Persia and all. Here’s his voyage map.
  • Basically second in command to this Yongle emperor guy. Yongle is a funny word.
  • He did all this and more despite the fact that he was a eunuch.

Anti-achievements to wrap it up.

  • He was a eunuch.
  • Eunuchs of the time carried around their…removed parts…in jars. Possibly pickled. It’d make a conversation a bit awkward.

And that’s all I can think up. And here we go. Zheng He is…


And there you have it! Looks like the kind of guy that would go barbequing (Yes!) and have a party. If it weren’t for his -cough- pickle jar.

Update: Added a rating mechanism at the bottom of the post (at least when you’re just on the post and not the main page).

Coming next: Observations