Once again, on a basis of previous knowledge and appearance, what do you think?
He has a funny hat. Wait… is that a hat? I have no idea.
All representations of him are made in rock or metal, so you can tell he’s a pretty solid guy. Click.
The first person I’ve judged to have facial hair. That’s good marks.
And on account of him being dead for 4224 years, that’s all I have for appearance. I’m gonna milk him of achievements and unachievements. Mostly from wikipedia. Here goes nothing.
The story of his life is called the “Sargon Legend,” which is pretty much pimping.
Overthrew this guy in the city-state of Kish after he became the guy’s cup-bearer. That was apparently significant back then, and better than man-fanner, grape-bowl-holder, etc. But I’m not quite sure how it was better than liquid-pourer. If I was a cup-bearer, I wouldn’t want to start handing people random cups, granted that would be fun, standing out in the streets, giving passers-by cups. But enough of that.
He made the first empire in history to ever exist ever. That’s pretty impressive.
He had a cool name.
Why did I choose this guy? Anyway, unachievements:
He may be some bible guy named Nimrod. Yes. Nimrod.
He has a great-great-great grandchild named Dudu.
And that’s all I have to say. This is a tough decision… I’m gonna have to make him…