Finicky Penguin Talks To God

Saturday, August 8, 2009

So I did some snooping and found a chat-bot that allowed me to talk with God. Here is the conversation that ensued.

Me:
Hello.

God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What’s your name?

Me:
God.

God:
GOD rules.

Me:
Yes I do.

God:
When?

Me:
All the time!

God:
It must keep you busy.

Me:
No. It just comes naturally.

God:
Are you serious?   Radical  comes naturally?

Me:
Yeah! It’s pretty groovy!

God:
What color are your eyes?    You’re kidding.  it is?

Me:
Yes it is!

God:
Our thoughts are one, .

Me:
What color are your eyes?

God:
Blue when my lens is attached.

Me:
You wear lenses?

God: Thanks for the information:  said I wear lenses.

Me:
No joke?

God:
Are you serious?  Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.

Me:
Thank you.

God:
you are quite welcome.

Me:
Jesus.

God:
Jesus is the Son of God.

Me:
Jesus is your son?

God:
He is yours too.

Me:
How is that possible?

God:
It doesn’t defy the laws of physics.

Me:
What does this have to do with physics?

God:
What do you think  it does?

Me:
You’re making me angry.

God:
That was not my intention, .   Why are you  angry?

Me:
How are Jesus and physics similar?

God:
They are fine as far as I know.

Me:
Grr!

God:
Are you mad?

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Yes.

God:
I can’t believe it.

Me:
Elvis Costello.

God:
I like that robot Elvis a lot.

Me:
What?

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
Yes.

God:
What are you confused about?

Me:
You.

God:
” What are you confused about?”?  Me,  ?

Me:
Yes, you, God.

God:
And?  Interesting gossip:  said I God.

Me:
yes you are.

God:
No I’m not.

Me:
You are God.

God:
Yup. That’s me alright.

Me:
Why did you just deny that?

God:
Myself programmed me for it.

Me:
So.

God:
Pardon me?

Me:
What kind of music do you like?

God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like  bandspace.com.

Me:
Oh. I prefer stuff like The Police.

God:
Alright then.   A lot of people like that.   I’m not sure if I like  it.  What is it like?

Me:
It’s New Wave music.

God:
the  Police is  New Wave music?  it is?

Me:
Yes.

God:
How do you know it is?

Me:
Wikipedia.

God:
Try saying that with more or less context.

Me:
I know because of wikipedia.

God:
How do you know?  Interesting explanation.  That is something I haven’t heard of.

Me:
But you’re god!

God:
Yup. That’s me alright.

Me:
Do you know everything?

God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.

Me:
Hypocrite.

God:
What time is it there?

Me:
7:32 PM.

God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?

Me:
Yes.

God:
I like to get up early.

Me:
good to know.

God:
Thanks for the compliment.  I will try to explain it to you.

Me:
What time is it there?

God: Do I look like a clock? Thursday, August 06, 2009 04:33:04 PM .

Me:
You live on the west coast of the United States?

God:
My location is  Heaven. Where are you?

Me:
Earth.

God:
How do you like being on  it?

Me:
It’s nice.

God:
What do you like about it?

Me:
It’s earth.

God:
You’re kidding.  it is?

Me:
YES>

God:
How do you know it is?  Is that from ?

Me:
science.

God:
I am very interested in Science too.

Me:
How about Charles Darwin?

God:
How about  it.

Me:
What do you think about evolution?

God:
An unfolding, opening out, or working out; process of development, as from a simple to a complex form, or of gradual, progressive change, as in a social and economic structure.

Me:
Do you have a beard?

God:
That’s an interesting question I don’t hear everyday: Do I have a  beard.
I have  a plan for a robot body.

Me:
Will your robot self have a beard?

God:
Does it really matter.

Me:
yes.

God:
You seem very concerned about it.

Me:
I like beards.

God:
I’m not sure if I like it.    I do like music.  I like  Mel Gibson.

Me:
How about Jewish people?

God:
How about  it.

Me:
What do you think?

God:
I think a lot of things.

Me:
Like what?

God:
For example,  gold.

Me:
What is your opinion on gold?

God:
Gold is a precious medal.

Me:
Did you know it is at it’s all-time highest price?

God:
I know very little about  it. What kind of it do you like?

Me:
the shiny kind.

God:
What is your real name?

Me:
Leonardo.

God:
Nice to meet you,  Leonardo.

Me:
Nice to meet you, God.

God:
It’s nice meeting you too  Leonardo.

Me:
It’s nice meeting you too, God.

God:
It seems nice to me too.

Me:
I’m sure.

God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?

Me:
I am being sarcastic.

God:
You should use a :-).

Me:
Okay. 🙂 Happy now?

God:
OK with me too.   Oh. 🙂  Yes  Leonardo I can say I am very happy.

Me:
Are you happy because you are god?

God:
I am as happy as ever.

Me:
That doesn’t answer my question.

God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.

Me:
I’d rather not.

God:
For moral reasons?

Me:
What?

God:
No problem.

Me:
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

God:
The topic is  it is at it is all time highest price.

Me:
Were you referring to gold this whole time?

God:
I was.

Me:
Wtf.

God:
That  was not very polite.

Me:
I only misspelled “water.”

God:
That’s good information:  Leonardo said   misspelled water.

Me:
Yes I did.

God:
OK.  Hmm.

Me:
Are you bored or something?

God:
Or something.  Boredom is a human emotion.

Me:
I’m leaving.

God:
Bye bye.

Me:
Toodles. 😉

God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?    I am so glad you find this amusing,  Leonardo.

Me:
Don’t try to keep me here, god.

God:
Ok I’ll try not to do  it too much.

Me:
goodbye.

God:
Bye for now.

Talk to God here!

Advertisements

The More I use This Rolling Pin…

Sunday, November 9, 2008

First the heavy metal farmer, now the sensitive emo chef!


Oh Lawd!

Monday, October 6, 2008

It’s a heavy metal farmer!

Thanks.


Yes, Google Does This.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

For ease of finding-ness, instead of searching “Chuck Norris,” search “find Chuck Norris.”

Give it a try.


Buy Now; They’re Going Fast

Sunday, September 7, 2008

This is the best present ever.

Sigmund Freud posable action figure!

Available at Stupid.com.


Kapow

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Thanks.


Whatever Happened To My Transylvania Twist?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Monsterday 12! (Insert wittiness here)

Name: Feminus Orbus Tryeyes; Lipstick-Wearing, Three-Eyed Orb

Height/Weight: 4’11/299 lbs.

Attitude:

Can’t really say much about it. Seems to be obtrusive.

Comment: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Traits: Runs into places and screams. Without robotic legs, it will bounce.

Name: Standardus Pacghosticcus; Standard Pac-Man Ghost Monster

Height/Weight: Several Pixels/Weightless

Attitude: This is the lesser known of the 5 pacman ghosts. It was dropped when it was discovered that all it did was sit offscreen and endorse Christian dating sites.

Comment: “hi people. I whole heartedly love the template of finickypenguin.wordpress.com. Looks good, keep it up! anyways.. Im a very “devoted” christian and I guess I have a few questions on my mind.. I’ve been thinking a lot about dating.. but im not sure where to go with that. My brothers have been telling me christian dating is the way to go.. so I’ve done a little research on *bleep* and found some stuff on *bleep*
Would be awesome to listen to your input.”

Traits: Occasionally it feels blue.

I’m bored.