Awesome Or Not 3: Sargon

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Here we go, third installment.

sargon

Once again, on a basis of previous knowledge and appearance, what do you think?

Appearance:

  • He has a funny hat. Wait… is that a hat? I have no idea.
  • All representations of him are made in rock or metal, so you can tell he’s a pretty solid guy. Click.
  • The first person I’ve judged to have facial hair. That’s good marks.

And on account of him being dead for 4224 years, that’s all I have for appearance. I’m gonna milk him of achievements and unachievements. Mostly from wikipedia. Here goes nothing.

Achievements:

  • The story of his life is called the “Sargon Legend,” which is pretty much pimping.
  • Overthrew this guy in the city-state of Kish after he became the guy’s cup-bearer. That was apparently significant back then, and better than man-fanner, grape-bowl-holder, etc. But I’m not quite sure how it was better than liquid-pourer. If I was a cup-bearer, I wouldn’t want to start handing people random cups, granted that would be fun, standing out in the streets, giving passers-by cups. But enough of that.
  • He made the first empire in history to ever exist ever. That’s pretty impressive.
  • He had a cool name.

Why did I choose this guy? Anyway, unachievements:

  • He may be some bible guy named Nimrod. Yes. Nimrod.
  • He has a great-great-great grandchild named Dudu.

And that’s all I have to say. This is a tough decision… I’m gonna have to make him…

AWESOME

But just on the verge of awesome.

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