Everything Ever

Monday, September 22, 2008

Yay! It’s blogiversary time! After 1 year, there’s 334,378 hits (upon publish), 406 posts, 10 pages (counting the main page and the secret comment page), almost 2,400 comments, and a sidebar with 20 widgets on it.

Statistics

First off, we have the top 3 posts ever on this blog. Coming in 3rd with more than 18, 700 single visits is “Rocket Gopher.”

Second with over 24,300 visits is “Murdock… I’m comin’ to get you,” which was, in fact, not supposed to have the awesome picture of Chuck Norris, but a less awesome picture of Rambo holding a fish.

First, with more than 28,000 visits is a terribly unfunny lolcat picture which I will not link to or show.

Next up, search engine terms.

In fifth…wow, with nearly 13,000 hits.

Fourth: “funny pictures,” with over 17,000 views.

Third: “funny,” with more than 18,000 visits.

Unfortunately, “funny cats” is second with almost 21,000 idiots.

Finally, making up for the second place term, “chuck norris” is in the lead with over 35,000 awesome people.

Chronicling of The Awesome Train

As I hope you know, the awesome train does not stop and has no destination. Starting with my first visit to Say No To Crack, I happened upon a picture of a giant rubber duck posted by a certain Bunk Strutts. I enjoyed that post, and when I saw the post on SNTC mentioning Tacky Raccoons, I started visiting there, and it was good. Then I noticed the WordPress link. I thought that it’d be pretty cool to start my own humor blog, so I said to myself, “It’d be pretty cool to start my own humor blog!” So I did.

For a while it was just me, then I added AssDolph, removed him, added pcakes, added the Dolphinator again, then my posts began to wane, and I got fed up with criticism, so I removed them both. Then it was just me for a while, but I went on vacation, so I added Bunk as the managing editor when I was away. I came back, kept Bunk and added Agent DoubleAss-D again.

Then I started the awesome squad, got 7 other members, and started the awesome squad blog, which is where you should go if you want to join. 7 of us post on it, and it is also awesome.

Somewhere around the middle of that story, I joined the numero uno site on the internet, humor-blogs, which will always be twenty times better than sliced bread. Happy, diesel?

THIS BLOG IS AWESOME.

No Purpose Served

No Purpose Served

The password is quiche.

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Sporeday 7-Dogtopus

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

It’s a dog… and it has 8 limbs. Yeah. That’s about it.


Sporeday 5: The Dancer

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It is called so because it dances.

This was my first attempt at a humanoid.

And I was testing out the dancing during that part of the Olympics Opening Ceremony with the awesome drums.


Sporeday 4: Dibble-Dobble

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

This creature has 2 heads, 3 eyes, 6 limbs… and it’s 1 awesome creature.

Like most animals, both heads have an esophagus and a breathing tube (they each have a stomach and a lung), but there is, unfortunately, a third tube at the end of the mouth, the colon. The head with 2 eyes controls the legs, but the dumber one eyed head controls the arms and usually just flails them around.

Basically, when you see this creature, it will be walking around with its arms flailing, each head coughing up the other head’s waste. Eeeewww.

To see all of the creatures that I or an associate have created that could be used in future posts click here.


Sporeday 3-Stalkipede

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

This is a bug, and its legs are are tall: Stalkipede.

I know that that picture is blurry.

As you can see, this creature has the advantage of stealth when it is in a wooded area because of its camoflague. It has no arms, therefore has to make sure his legs are strong; therefore, it trains on a specially crafted treadmill in a tree. If he had arms, he would use a Total Gym, every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’ house.

By the way, Criss Angel is going to be shackled in a building that’s going to be imploding tonight. The fun part: It’s live.

Also, Monopoly fan-fiction would be awesome.


Sporeday 2 – Norphus

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Here we go.

This is a pretty durable creature, except for the parts of its blue flesh not covered by rock. When it wants to eat something big, it grabs it with its arms and holds it near its mouth. Because it only eats bones, it sprays an acid over the specimen that melts down to the bone. He then, obviously, eats it.

Yay! Video!

It also has very bad eyesight and is weak in the back, just in case it attacks.


Wednesday Is Sporeday

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

That’s right! Be a good spore-t (I apologize), and go along with this. Every Wednesday, I’ll make a creature using Spore. I already have 15, so I’m set for now.

Let’s start this with Cino. I heard “Encino” over the TV when I was making him, and Cino sounded fun.

And I suppose that I’ll do some traits like Monsterday.

This creature, normally very friendly, can get very angry if you step on its front foot. If this happens, try to stay in front of the monster at all times. Why? See those spikes on his back? He will stand up and fall backward on you. He can also use his back legs to kick back at you like a mule. He also has gas.

And here is a possibly better look at Cino.

Starting Friday, assassin dolphin is getting chance number three and he’s posting here until Monsterday or Tuesday.

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