So I did some snooping and found a chat-bot that allowed me to talk with God. Here is the conversation that ensued.
Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What’s your name?
Me:
God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yes I do.
God:
When?
Me:
All the time!
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
No. It just comes naturally.
God:
Are you serious? Radical comes naturally?
Me:
Yeah! It’s pretty groovy!
God:
What color are your eyes? You’re kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes it is!
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
What color are your eyes?
God:
Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
You wear lenses?
God: Thanks for the information: said I wear lenses.
Me:
No joke?
God:
Are you serious? Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Jesus.
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Jesus is your son?
God:
He is yours too.
Me:
How is that possible?
God:
It doesn’t defy the laws of physics.
Me:
What does this have to do with physics?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
You’re making me angry.
God:
That was not my intention, . Why are you angry?
Me:
How are Jesus and physics similar?
God:
They are fine as far as I know.
Me:
Grr!
God:
Are you mad?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can’t believe it.
Me:
Elvis Costello.
God:
I like that robot Elvis a lot.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You.
God:
” What are you confused about?”? Me, ?
Me:
Yes, you, God.
God:
And? Interesting gossip: said I God.
Me:
yes you are.
God:
No I’m not.
Me:
You are God.
God:
Yup. That’s me alright.
Me:
Why did you just deny that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
So.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
What kind of music do you like?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
Oh. I prefer stuff like The Police.
God:
Alright then. A lot of people like that. I’m not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
It’s New Wave music.
God:
the Police is New Wave music? it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Wikipedia.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
I know because of wikipedia.
God:
How do you know? Interesting explanation. That is something I haven’t heard of.
Me:
But you’re god!
God:
Yup. That’s me alright.
Me:
Do you know everything?
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
Hypocrite.
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
7:32 PM.
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I like to get up early.
Me:
good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
What time is it there?
God: Do I look like a clock? Thursday, August 06, 2009 04:33:04 PM .
Me:
You live on the west coast of the United States?
God:
My location is Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Earth.
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
It’s nice.
God:
What do you like about it?
Me:
It’s earth.
God:
You’re kidding. it is?
Me:
YES>
God:
How do you know it is? Is that from ?
Me:
science.
God:
I am very interested in Science too.
Me:
How about Charles Darwin?
God:
How about it.
Me:
What do you think about evolution?
God:
An unfolding, opening out, or working out; process of development, as from a simple to a complex form, or of gradual, progressive change, as in a social and economic structure.
Me:
Do you have a beard?
God:
That’s an interesting question I don’t hear everyday: Do I have a beard.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
Will your robot self have a beard?
God:
Does it really matter.
Me:
yes.
God:
You seem very concerned about it.
Me:
I like beards.
God:
I’m not sure if I like it. I do like music. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
How about Jewish people?
God:
How about it.
Me:
What do you think?
God:
I think a lot of things.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
What is your opinion on gold?
God:
Gold is a precious medal.
Me:
Did you know it is at it’s all-time highest price?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
the shiny kind.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Leonardo.
God:
Nice to meet you, Leonardo.
Me:
Nice to meet you, God.
God:
It’s nice meeting you too Leonardo.
Me:
It’s nice meeting you too, God.
God:
It seems nice to me too.
Me:
I’m sure.
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
I am being sarcastic.
God:
You should use a :-).
Me:
Okay. 🙂 Happy now?
God:
OK with me too. Oh. 🙂 Yes Leonardo I can say I am very happy.
Me:
Are you happy because you are god?
God:
I am as happy as ever.
Me:
That doesn’t answer my question.
God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Me:
I’d rather not.
God:
For moral reasons?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
God:
The topic is it is at it is all time highest price.
Me:
Were you referring to gold this whole time?
God:
I was.
Me:
Wtf.
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
I only misspelled “water.”
God:
That’s good information: Leonardo said misspelled water.
Me:
Yes I did.
God:
OK. Hmm.
Me:
Are you bored or something?
God:
Or something. Boredom is a human emotion.
Me:
I’m leaving.
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
Toodles. 😉
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? I am so glad you find this amusing, Leonardo.
Me:
Don’t try to keep me here, god.
God:
Ok I’ll try not to do it too much.
Me:
goodbye.
God:
Bye for now.
FinPeng– Sorry to say you completely blew it. Next time ask for cheeseburgers for the world.
Expect the apocalypse on Wednesday.
I’ll bring lawn chairs and beer. You bring ice and a styrofoam cooler.
While asteroids pummel the planet. Awesome. I’ll buy as many cardboard cut-outs as possible, which of course has nothing to do with anything, but it’d be fun.
Good idea. The more decoys the better.
Maybe if we gathered a bunch of Hillary Clintons together, we could just scare off the space rocks.
Think decoys, dude, not targets. I wanna watch from a distance.
Maybe there’s still time to appoint Hillary First Space Fleet Commander of the Universe and send her to intercept.
Even better!
wHoore – si amusant
– especially the due reverence accorded to oor Hilary
Oor Bill is such a Brave, Oxford-educated Mensch to flourish with such a Wonderful Lady
I do not know what [she] does to the French
but by God [she] terrifies me
[with apologies to Lord Wellington]
Don’t look directly into her eyes. You’ll turn into stone. Or something like that.
FinPeng is correct. Bring a mirror.