BILLY MAYS HERE!!!

HI EVERYBODY, BILLY MAYS HERE! I WAS RECENTLY INFORMED THAT I AM INVITED TO JOIN THE AWESOME SQUAD. I WAS EXPECTED TO ARRIVE TUESDAY, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I COULD JUST BUY A PRIVATE JET AND GET HERE A DAY EARLY! WHO NEEDS STANDARD AIRFARE WHEN YOU CAN SET UNAWESOME THINGS ON FIRE WITH YOUR EYES!

I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT IT’S GREAT TO BE HERE! AND I’D LIKE TO GIVE A BIG THANKS TO THE PEOPLE THAT SUPPLIED THAT WONDERFUL PICTURE OF ME.

(Notes from the desk of AssassinDolphin): I will soon start making parodys of other people’s blogs for SPLHCS. I ask that you grow a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself so that you can truly enjoy the upcoming posts by me. (and not get angry and write useless complaints.)

P.S. Envision Fat People wearing nothing but leg warmers and cowboy boots while jogging.

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17 Responses to BILLY MAYS HERE!!!

  1. epicurienne says:

    Giggling away here. Especially the PS re Fat People. I had a Fat Girl sitting next to me on the tube this morning. She took up 1.5 seats with her Wide Load. I was squished BIG time. Now I’m feeling better cos I see her in fluoro orange leggings with fur trim and a pair of really bad-ass cowboy boots failing badly in the Olympics 100m.
    Thank you for helping me through my tube trauma of the day.

  2. Assassin Dolphin, I hope that the carpeting of the plane is regularly oxi-cleaned.

  3. SpartanW0lf3 says:

    I can laugh at myself!

    Then I get more depressed because other people start to laugh at me too…

  4. assassaindolphin says:

    I’m also sure that all of the woodwork on the plane is cleaned with orange glo.

  5. Augusto says:

    The laser eyesight is demostrating the Kaboom line of fine products available only on TV?

  6. Only if Billy Mays endorses Kaboom, of course.

  7. Bunk Strutts says:

    I am fortunate that I have no idea who Billy Mays is. My TV license was revoked years ago.

  8. Bunk Strutts says:

    Parodies of other websites!? WooHoo! Great idea, Assassa|do! (I’m NOT being sarcastic!)

    Start with BoingBoing…

  9. SpartanW0lf3 says:

    0.o Fin Peng you missed monsterday!

    Bunk- What if you are being sarcastic about NOT being sarcastic?

  10. I’m letting more monsters show up. It’ll be next week. Don’t worry.

  11. assassaindolphin says:

    I’ll start with this “BoingBoing” that you speak of. I’m currently taking parody requests.

  12. I may be a fat chick, but you can make fun of me. ur funny, dude

  13. Bunk Strutts says:

    AD–
    My suggestion of “BoingBoing” was sarcastic. But if you can pull it off, go for it.

    QR–
    Who cares? Welcome to the club. We’re all fat chicks here.

  14. assassaindolphin says:

    Oh, umm…. too late now I guess

  15. panascakes says:

    You shpould do a parody of my blog!

    It would have many
    masterful haikus in it
    and pictures of plants.

  16. You should parody I Am the Cheese.

  17. Bunk Strutts says:

    panascakes, your blog,
    being orange and all, is hard.
    On the eyes, I mean.

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