Out From His Coffin, Drac’s Voice Did Ring

Monday, August 11, 2008

Monsterday 11! Downsizing makes chimpanzees cry, so I’m upgrading from last week’s Monsterday. And the number 4 is overrated. 3!

Name: Hexagus Beakus Intellectus; the Hexagonal Beaked Intelligent Monster

Height/Weight: 6’7″/234 lbs.

Attitude: This monster is nice enough, but its large brain tends to make it a know-it-all, which, in fact, it does. This monster has broken the 10 Commandments of T-Ism several times.

Comment: “Mr. T’s real name is Laurence Tureaud but do not utter it ever!”

Traits: It is not known why this monster has a beak, but it is probably for the sake of having a beak. Its body is hexagonal because it can be. This monster usually fits in as a teacher, and even though my blog is a university, you won’t see this monster anywhere because it was fired for eating the janitors.

Name: Hexagus Androidus; the Android Hexagon

Height/Weight: 7’2″/478 lbs.

Attitude: Only speaks robot. Does not understand love.

Comment: “jpme egdvzcq xzjupm ibvhfxna kwbs jkqnb rswvtpid”

Traits: This is a robotic version of the previous monster, shown by the single robot eye. The object that appears to be a brain is the ultra-complex power source (75 AA batteries). Not sure why it has tentacles.

Name: Jawluss Medusas; the Jawless Medusa Monster

Height/Weight: 2’3″/45 lbs.

Attitude: Insists that that watermelon is Vincent Van Gogh.

Comment: “I’m pretty sure that watermelon is Vincent Vango”

Traits: Turns you to stone then eats you.

By the way, whenever a jibberish-talking monster is featured, it most likely belongs to one guy who is attempting to spam me. He gets caught in Akismet-Net and I allow his comments because he shows up as a different monster each time. Funfunfun.