Sit down, beings of questionable gender, for tonight we are going to have a lecture in time.
While it may appear differently, this post is being made from the past. I used a complex algorithim to perform acute calculations to determine the exact amount of voltage needed to propel my time travel device (an Asian) backwards through time (you use a different algorithim for future traveling). First one must understand the structure of time. Reality is like a nuclear reactor, where bars of parallel time converge and are governed by one overlying guardian. In this case, that is father time (who is actually a transvestite).
(accurate depiction of father time)
Now he watches over this reality, ever aware and omniprescent. Of course he can be bypassed by slipping some painkillers into his vodka.
(this is existence)
This is the point where after devising you calculations, you set up your time traveling device (an Asian in my case) and you excecute a power tap from the nuclear reactor that is reality. While this doesn’t propel you back in time, it creates an alternate dimension (fuel rod) however far back you destined to go. You do your work in this dimension until it meets the time that you traveled back from. This is like two parralel fuel rods.
Of course, as you learned with my past revelations, there are controllers for everything (the earth, time, law, MIDI) and the controller of law is actually Santa Claus. So if yo mess up the past then you will meet Santa Clause. He will first fix everything, and then he’ll pimp slap you for being an idiot. And that is my theory of time travel with a few humorous things thrown in so that bunk doesn’t go BAWWW when he sees nothing funny in it and deleting it, forgetting that this blog is for awesome stuff in general, not just BUTTBERRY AWARDS BECAUSE I THINK I’M WITTY. And now I leave yoy with my original post about how Daft Punk can attract just about any crowd.
If you don’t know who Daft Punk is then go sit in an iron maiden.
Another reasonable excuse for me is that 1. I’m always fashionably late. And 2. It was fireworks night at Hershey Park.