To The Master Bedroom Where The Vampires Feast

Monsterday 7 is here! Now in technicolor! Let’s start today with

Name: Bunnicus Glidus; Bunny Glider (Not very special sounding…)

Attitude: Anyone speak Spanish? Can’t really determine anything myself. I think he’s saying: “Mr. T is awesome. Taco taco burrito taco.”

Example of Speech: “mr t não existe quem existe sou eu e a minha pixa. agra que voçês se vão foder.”

Traits: This may sound a bit strange, but without it’s wings, which only function for gliding (like Batman), this would be the standard Bunnicus monster. Where you expecting Thumper from Bambi? As I said, the wings are for gliding, and these monsters like to jump off cliffs and soar through the air. This monster was attracted to my blog when it realized that my blog is a small town on the edge of a large cliff. It jumped off, but the wind carried him over into Assassin Dolphin territory, and his town just caught on fire!

Name: Hovereer Blobbus Tryeyes Feminus; Three-Eyed Lipstick-Wearing Hoverblob

Attitude: These monsters act like parents, even though they cannot breed. Once they choose a “child,” they will treat them as its own. This particular monster chose Chuck Norris.


Traits: These monsters cannot breed because the Y chromosome has been completely erased from the genome of this species. This species will not last long. This means that these “mother monsters” will give a lot of care to their chosen children. By care, I mean hugs. By hugs, I mean being grabbed by the tentacles and being engulfed in the blobby mass of purple.

Name: Triangulus Crabbicus; Trianguloid Crab Monster

Attitude: Obviously, this monster wants to blow up Pluto. Less obviously, this monster wants to blow up Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Oh, Earth, too.

Example of Speech: “Blow up Pluto!!!!!”

Traits: Evil monster! Baaaaaad monster! Otherwise, this is pretty ordinary.

Name: Medusas Webbus; Webfoot Medusa Monster

Attitude: These monsters are smart, and feel threatened by 4D hypercubes. I like 4D hypercubes.

Example of Speech: “Wow… The Shadow of a morphing 4-Dimensional hypercube!
All Forces! Return to Flatland immediately! This way!”

Traits: Like every Medusa monster, it turns people to stone if they look at it. To prevent risk of looking at itself, it blinded itself with a roll of toilet paper, a safety pin, and a rubber band. Webbed feet allow for duck-like movements on water.

Okay, I’m gonna try something new. I’m making Monsterday interactive. I give you a comment and the monster that made it, and you can leave in the comment the monster’s name (Latinese and English), attitude, or 1 trait. I picked an awesome looking monster for you. First off, here’s the comment.

“woot its chug norris!!!”

And here is your monster:

The rating system over at humor blogs (see sidebar) has changed. Something confusing about smiley faces.


5 Responses to To The Master Bedroom Where The Vampires Feast

  1. panascakes says:

    brown blob spider

    It is a heavy drinker so whenever it speaks it tends to replace a word with something beer related.

  2. Kitty says:

    These monsterday posts are hilarious, FinPen.
    Amazing, really. Keep doing them.

  3. The attitude seems similar to monster 1 of Monsterday 6, pancakes.

    My muse, Kitty?

  4. Kitty says:

    Oh yeah. Here you go.

  5. You were featured in this Monsterday, if you meant to show me your monster.

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