Just so you know, from the 25th to July 6th, I’ll be returning Bunk’s favor and sitting Tacky Raccoons. That’ll be a heck of a party.
Okay, let’s get this thang started with Hypnotus Hornus Arachnus Beakus, or the Beaked Eight-Legged Hypnotist Beak Monster. Like most of the monsters featured, this species makes no sense. I have nothing to say about this comment:
“elakiri!u r soooo…… cute ! i think u could join da sri lankan army, but within a week hav to admit at da hospital”
These monsters are not very nimble, so they are usually hunted for, well, everything. Their strong horns are often marketed as knives and sold to the Swiss Army. Their beaks are sold to seafood restaurants as crab crackers. Their eyes are diced by blindfolded men (at risk of a life-long trance) and sold to Asian meat markets. Their bodies are commonly used as coats. Bright purple, gelatinous, slimy coats.
Next up, one of my favorite monsters in terms of appearance, Elephantus Crabbicus Blobbus Treyeum, or the Three-Eyed Tusked Blobular Crab Monster. These are monsters of few words, but they are very intelligent and can speak in full sentences using proper grammar and mechanics. Observe:
“Some funny images.”
These monsters are amphibians but are much more suited to land because of adapted legs. However, the crab claws and the tusks are very heavy and can fatigue the monster greatly. When they get too tired, they go to a deeper part of the ocean and lay down on the rocks, not needing to hold their breath because they absorb dissolved oxygen in the water. When on land, they typically roam beaches and are known for accidentally popping beach balls and volleyballs.
Third, Blobifigus Medusas Tenteclus, or the Tentacled Medusa Blob. These monsters are also short with words, as is this comment description:
“it is nice”
They usually prefer dank places because they want to avoid turning people to stone. I saw one because my blog, as you all know, is a bog. A risk to this monster is itself. When the snakes get hungry, they tend to eat parts of the body of the creature, followed by the consuming of each other. You won’t find this species anywhere.
Now, who prefers this format?
Name: Inquisitus Growthus; Inquisitive Grower
Attitude: These monsters are inquisitive by nature, and will try anything to get help, even comment, which can be difficult because the are illiterate. This particular species had a blog.
Example of Speech: “Hey, I can’t figure out how to post a video off the internet, even though they give u instrucyions. Please help me!”
Traits: Like many monsters in the Intellectus family, this monster has an artificial straw and bolts for lightning to strike, but they do not grow their brain. You see the massive swollen eye? That is used as a projector for a TV that is ceremoniously placed in the body at birth. As lightning strikes the bolts or metal is absorbed through the straw, the TV grows, adding more channels. These monsters will cease to exist by February 2009 because, sadly, the three wires on the head are TV antennae.
Name: Panuscakus Standardus Blobbus; Panascake’s Standard Blob
Attitude: This monster is very loyal. Once thought to be extinct, Panascakes discovered this monster and has trained it as a messenger boy. While I was away, it said something that I was confounded by.
Example of Speech: “I wuz smoking wombats.”
Traits: During this monster’s years of college in Monster U, he earned a degree in “Hittingmyheadagainstadoorology,” making it very stupid. However, it was also an English major, making its comments somewhat literate. No one knows the purpose behind the Hair and the bird legs.