It’s Monsterday 3! Now on Mondays! All of these monsters are specimens that have been seen recently.
Let’s start things off with Feminus Unicornus Hovereer Triangulus (that’s a mouthful), or the Hovering Lipstick-Wearing Unicorn Trianguloid (even more of a mouthful). These monsters tend to be peaceful, and don’t even like to watch pain being caused, shown by a comment made by one:
“wrestling bothers me to”
These monsters are illiterate because of the amount of brain power required to hover, and just like a great white shark swimming, it can’t stop hovering or risk death. This particular species that I caught a picture of has mechanical arm extensions, most likely used for hugging.
Second, Standardus Pinus, or you Standard Pine-Tree Monster. These monsters are usually up to no good and use their shape to hide in dense forests. Since my blog is, in fact, a dense forest, you will see this monster here often. An example of speech is:
“Please dont tell the government on me”
The eye stalks protruding from the tree’s top can move 360°, allowing it to check for police in the area. They can also be drawn into the tree, allowing for sight in hidden position.
Continuing the Pinus family, we have Scandinavius Groovius Pinus, or the Scandinavian Groovy Pine-Monster. This pine-monster uses the same camouflage technique as the standard species, but usually tends to just be a wanderer. This specimen approached me and told me this:
He was asking me if I had cake, which these monsters tend to eat. When it approached me, I averted my eyes because its eyes are called “Lava Lamps from the Fiery Depths of Hell,” and are known to give the one who gazes into its eyes bounteous amounts of funk, groove, and disco.
Next in line, here’s Zennic Rattaillicus Medusas, or Medusa Rat-Tailed Zen Monster. This monster is accepted in society, and gives helpful suggestions and settles disputes. A few days ago, one helped me select my avatar. It said:
“I was going to suggest Mr. T.”
These monsters would definitely succeed, if it weren’t for the turning people to stone part. Yep.
And to finish up today’s Monsterday, we have Bookus Hawkus Intellectus Blobbus, or the Intelligent Book Hawking Blob. Two posts on this blog that this monster commented on included a raccoon pelt and a Southern version of a Windows desktop. On the raccoon post, it is certain that these monsters don’t have very good eyesight, and need to wear glasses. It said:
“That monkey is totally *bleep*ing the paneling.”
This monster, who has a book, which is going to be at discount price, tends to urge people to buy its various products, or else have their brain drained out of their skulls and added to the mass of brain on top of its head. It also has head bolts, and, like the last monster from Monsterday 2, increases brain mass when lightning strikes the bolts, therefore making this monster incredibly smart and incredibly dangerous. These monsters thrive during rainstorms because their gelatinous bodies require water to keep its ability to hold humans down while brains are being drained.
That’s it for me until June 19. I’ll leave things to Bunk.