It’s Monsterday! I think that starting the week of June 8, I’ll move this to Mondays.
First up, gelatina-saurus insanus, or the Insane Gelatinous Dinosuar. These creatures typically make no sense, and usually talk of their favorite food: ostrich. An example of speech is:
“HA HA HA. legs of ostriches make me feel insane. HA HA HA. lol.”
These monsters, to fight for superiority, use the 2 eye-stalks growing from their heads for staring contests. Because they never blink, you will see these monsters in pairs of two, growling at each other in the middle of a public place doing nothing.
Next up, here’s hypnotus hovereer or, obviously, the Hypnotic Hoverer. These monsters are usually invisible until they decide to try to lure a person to look into their eyes, which can hypnotize you to do the monster’s will. They do this by praising you by saying such things as:
“that was fun-larious!”
The 2 limp legs that the species used to walk on have not been eliminated by evolution. If you are walking on some sort of sandy or dirty surface, you will be able to track it, although I wouldn’t do it if I were you.
Third, here’s Cyclo-Mammot One-Leggus Vampirus, or the One-Legged Tusked Cyclops Bat. Although creepy in appearance, these creatures are very docile and tend to devote themselves to an opinion and will risk death to defend it. I once provoked one in October when I said that I’d sue the company that makes ZZZZZAAAAAGGGGGNNNNNUUUUUTTTTTSSSSS. I got this response:
“Oh no you won’t. I won’t let you. Zagnut is awesome!!!”
Otherwise, they are very nice. His hourglass shaped body helps him fit through hourglass shaped holes. (Duh.)
Now, we have Reddic Hoppigus Blokkcus, or the Red Bunny Block. These creatures are very rare finds, and only appear when fascinated. The specimen I encountered was interested about Cletus, Paris, and Heinrich, the monkeys up below my blog title. He said:
Being a monster of few words, it is usually completely silent, almost for years at a time. Its crossed legs show an appreciation of the fine art of ballet.
Concluding this segment, we have Bolticus Nonsighticus Feminus, or the Lipstick-Wearing Bolted Blind Monster. These monsters are known to be avid hunters and very conservative. An example of speech is:
“I’ve got 3 pandas already and 6 children crying, I’m only in it to see hillary get cooked alive! Confession : I pity the fool they call hillary.”
Their blindness has been caused by the part of the brain that controls sight being consumed by the ever growing brain, which gains size and mental strength by electricity shocking the bolts on the sides of the head. It is theorized that this monster will soon be a mass of brain able to bend the wills and the bodies of its targets.
You can’t go to the secret comment page now. Yep. I discovered that only I or someone who has posting rights here can go there. They were the Mr. T window and my blog cup trophy.