Wednesday, August 12, 2009
- This is just a list of sentences for some reason.
- It’s because I have many observations.
- What if the universe is in a petri dish?
- If the world were in reverse, cows would be barbequing (uh-huh) humans.
- I like apple pie a la mode.
- I was never any good at playing Asteroids for some reason.
- End of the world scenarios:
- Nuclear holocaust
- Gamma Ray Burst
- Mr. T stepping on Chuck Norris’ toes accidentally. And at that time they’re on bad terms and 40 feet tall. And have beards made of fire.
- Zombie apocalypse (the most fun-sounding)
But no matter what the apocalypse, I think it’d be fun to have a post-apocalyptic blog. If I haven’t been incinerated, zombified or engulfed in flaming beard. That blog stuff would be there forever, you know? Imagine when the human race has ended, a new species arises. An operational computer would be a great discovery. That is, if they learned the language somehow, of course (Google Translate?). And now, I’m imagining what they would think of this blog…
“This Chuck Norris… This Mr. T… They must have been deities. They must be eternal and all-powerful. WE MUST WORSHIP THEM.”
They would be right, obviously. I can see it now. A religious war, on one end the T-ists, on the other the Chuck-lims.
That’d be awesome.
By the way, pictures are linked to their sources.
Up next: music
Monday, September 8, 2008
I’m bored and sick. I am registered with these things on the World Wide Interweb.
- Humor-Blogs, vote ! (Merry Christmas, diesel!)
- Kongregate. Fun game website with a badge-scoring system.
- Polldaddy for the fancy sidebar polls.
- WordPress, obviously
That’s about it. This song is catchy.
If Geronimo jumped out of a plane, would he yell “MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?”
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Take the time to read this…
- Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58
- Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85
- Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
- Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90
- Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3
- Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7
- Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3
- Only bird that can fly backwards: Hummingbird
- Only continent without reptiles or snakes: Antarctica
- An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.
- In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.
- February 1865 was the only month in recorded history that didn’t have a full moon.
- Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
- The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
- When George Lucas was mixing the American Graffiti soundtrack, he numbered the reels of film starting with an R and numbered the dialog starting with a D. Sound designer Walter Murch asked George for Reel 2, Dialog 2 by saying “R2D2″. George liked the way that sounded so much he integrated that into another project he was working on.
- The youngest pope was 11 years old.
- Mark Twain didn’t graduate from elementary school.
- Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.
- Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.
- Your nose and ears never stop growing.
- They have square watermelons in Japan…they stack better.
- Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
- Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.
- It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
- Men get hiccups more often than women.
- Armadillos can be housebroken.
- Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.
- The first Fords had engines made by Dodge.
- A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night.
- Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
- Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone.
- A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside.
- A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.
- A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
- Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.
- The flashing warning light on the cylindrical Capitol Records tower spells out HOLLYWOOD in Morse code.
- Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
- The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
- One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
- The average American will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year.
- You’re born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206.
- Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
- Over 1000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.
- The State of Florida is bigger than England.
- Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning.
- It’s against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.
- Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.
- Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark.
- During your lifetime, you’ll eat about 60,000 pounds of food. That’s the weight of about 6 elephants.
- Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can’t find any food.
- Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
- The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old.
- In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can’t flow.
- About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30.
- More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.
- A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
- Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.
- In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons.
- Slugs have 4 noses.
- Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.
- Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet.
- Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.
- The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.
- It’s against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland.
- There wasn’t a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.
- Honeybees have hair on their eyes.
- A jellyfish is 95 percent water.
- In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals.
- A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.
- The elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump.
- The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly.
- The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
- Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
- One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
- America once issued a 5-cent bill.
- You’ll eat about 35,000 cookies in your lifetime.
- Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.
- Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under is cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings.
- Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung.
- A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.
- A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
- Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
- The pitches that Babe Ruth hit for his last-ever homerun and that Joe DiMaggio hit for his first-ever homerun where thrown by the same man.
- Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
- The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head.
- In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.
- There are over 52.6 million dogs in the U.S.
- Dogs and cats consume almost $7 billion worth of pet food a year.
- Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
- Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.
- The Pentagon has twice as many restrooms as necessary. When it was built, segregation was still in place in Virginia, so separate restrooms for blacks and whites were required by law.
- In England, in the 1880′s, “Pants” was considered a dirty word.
- Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
- In 2003, there were 86 days of below-freezing weather in Hell, Michigan.
- The average person laughs 15 times a day.
You are now more knowledgeable.
Ross and Kelly—Have you ever eaten a square watermelon or seen a dog toupee?
I’ve found this stuff here, but viewer discretion is advised.