Dude’s too quiet…

Ah’m Mr. T, an’ I came here on dis tank Snickas gave me befo’ they passed me up fo a skinny white dude wit a  guitar and a brotha wit a manipulative last name! Grrrrrrrrrr! It really frazzles mah beard, ya know?

But the point ah be sayin is I’ma hunkah down here until I git an actin opportunity beyon’ Flavorwave ovens.

You foos watch dat?

You see what ah mean.

Anyway, ah’m providin’ the word of this week: “pity.”

You know what… caption this for me.

Also: I’m going to be adopting a somewhat regular TTS schedule.

The Schedule

Once again, on a basis of previous knowledge and appearance, what do you think?

Appearance:

• He has a funny hat. Wait… is that a hat? I have no idea.
• All representations of him are made in rock or metal, so you can tell he’s a pretty solid guy. Click.
• The first person I’ve judged to have facial hair. That’s good marks.

And on account of him being dead for 4224 years, that’s all I have for appearance. I’m gonna milk him of achievements and unachievements. Mostly from wikipedia. Here goes nothing.

Achievements:

• The story of his life is called the “Sargon Legend,” which is pretty much pimping.
• Overthrew this guy in the city-state of Kish after he became the guy’s cup-bearer. That was apparently significant back then, and better than man-fanner, grape-bowl-holder, etc. But I’m not quite sure how it was better than liquid-pourer. If I was a cup-bearer, I wouldn’t want to start handing people random cups, granted that would be fun, standing out in the streets, giving passers-by cups. But enough of that.
• He made the first empire in history to ever exist ever. That’s pretty impressive.
• He had a cool name.

Why did I choose this guy? Anyway, unachievements:

• He may be some bible guy named Nimrod. Yes. Nimrod.
• He has a great-great-great grandchild named Dudu.

And that’s all I have to say. This is a tough decision… I’m gonna have to make him…

But just on the verge of awesome.

I came back with “kaver.” And you wanna know what a kaver is? It’s a gentle breeze in these islands by Scotland. Look at how depressing the wikipedia page is. And they call it an orphan right on the site. That’s a real downer.

Please, sir. May I have some more?

When they say obscure, they mean obscure. You know what? I’m gonna get an obscure adjective to describe kaver.

Unexultant.

Unexultant Kaver. Is it just me or does that sound like some sort of Indie band? Speaking of which, if you go through my more recent posts, you’ll find a list of band names. Just tack Unexultant Kaver to the bottom of that list if you happen to read it sometime.

And that is the IPB word grouping of the week.

Anyways, the point is I’ve selected 3 songs of which I am fond and I will be putting them up. And then I guess I’ll throw in something from my youtube favorites all special just for all of you.

My first selection would be The Clash. Don’t really feel like describing the videos any more than that. They can do the talking.

And the next video is a song called Nun Fight by Paul and Storm, one of the two artists that emerged in the aughts that I really enjoy listening to, the second being Jonathan Coulton.

That video probably also offended God like the previous two posts. My apologies. I’ll have to call up Jesus and we can go barbequing.

But with all heresy aside, here’s Elvis Costello.

Hope you enjoyed that, you ever-present, mostly not-commenting readers. Here’s your cool video I promised you.

Sources are available by watching the videos on youtube.

1. Nuclear holocaust
2. Asteroids
3. Gamma Ray Burst
4. Mr. T stepping on Chuck Norris’ toes accidentally. And at that time they’re on bad terms and 40 feet tall. And have beards made of fire.
5. Zombie apocalypse (the most fun-sounding)

But no matter what the apocalypse, I think it’d be fun to have a post-apocalyptic blog. If I haven’t been incinerated, zombified or engulfed in flaming beard. That blog stuff would be there forever, you know? Imagine when the human race has ended, a new species arises. An operational computer would be a great discovery. That is, if they learned the language somehow, of course (Google Translate?). And now, I’m imagining what they would think of this blog…

“This Chuck Norris… This Mr. T… They must have been deities. They must be eternal and all-powerful. WE MUST WORSHIP THEM.”

They would be right, obviously. I can see it now. A religious war, on one end the T-ists, on the other the Chuck-lims.

That’d be awesome.

By the way, pictures are linked to their sources.

Up next: music

Here he is.

Now, based on this picture and anything you already know about this guy, tell me your opinion:

Now, my view on appearance.

• Fancy robe. Looks like a relaxed guy and all.
• I want that hat.
• Looks like he’s on some sort of boat.
• Notice how he keeps that look on his face, but still holds that sword. Sorta saying “Hey, I’m pretty sure I can cut you with my eyes closed.”
• Lack of facial hair.

Overall, I’m gonna give him good marks for appearance.

Onto achievements.

• Explored the seas for China. But that’s not the best part. This is the size of the boat. And wasn’t it Teddy Roosevelt who said “Speak Chinese softly, but sail a huge boat.”? Yes.
• He could have potentially discovered America in 1421. 71 years before Columbus. (Even though the guy’s theory has been dismissed as crap, it’s still pretty cool to read.)
• Thought to be the origin of Sinbad. Because he went to Persia and all. Here’s his voyage map.
• Basically second in command to this Yongle emperor guy. Yongle is a funny word.
• He did all this and more despite the fact that he was a eunuch.

Anti-achievements to wrap it up.

• He was a eunuch.
• Eunuchs of the time carried around their…removed parts…in jars. Possibly pickled. It’d make a conversation a bit awkward.

And that’s all I can think up. And here we go. Zheng He is…

And there you have it! Looks like the kind of guy that would go barbequing (Yes!) and have a party. If it weren’t for his -cough- pickle jar.

Update: Added a rating mechanism at the bottom of the post (at least when you’re just on the post and not the main page).

Coming next: Observations

So I’ll go ahead to this random word generator and this week, I’ll find an uncommon verb! And it is…

“Barbequing.”

Mmm! Just like mama used to make it!

Where I found it.

So I think I’ll try to use this week’s word in all the posts that are enveloped in this week. Exciting, I know.

Coming up: Zheng He

Me:
Hello.

God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What’s your name?

Me:
God.

God:
GOD rules.

Me:
Yes I do.

God:
When?

Me:
All the time!

God:
It must keep you busy.

Me:
No. It just comes naturally.

God:
Are you serious?   Radical  comes naturally?

Me:
Yeah! It’s pretty groovy!

God:
What color are your eyes?    You’re kidding.  it is?

Me:
Yes it is!

God:
Our thoughts are one, .

Me:
What color are your eyes?

God:
Blue when my lens is attached.

Me:
You wear lenses?

God: Thanks for the information:  said I wear lenses.

Me:
No joke?

God:
Are you serious?  Joke: a verbal remark or gesture designed to provoke laughter.

Me:
Thank you.

God:
you are quite welcome.

Me:
Jesus.

God:
Jesus is the Son of God.

Me:
Jesus is your son?

God:
He is yours too.

Me:
How is that possible?

God:
It doesn’t defy the laws of physics.

Me:
What does this have to do with physics?

God:
What do you think  it does?

Me:
You’re making me angry.

God:
That was not my intention, .   Why are you  angry?

Me:
How are Jesus and physics similar?

God:
They are fine as far as I know.

Me:
Grr!

God:
Are you mad?

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Yes.

God:
I can’t believe it.

Me:
Elvis Costello.

God:
I like that robot Elvis a lot.

Me:
What?

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
Yes.

God:
What are you confused about?

Me:
You.

God:
” What are you confused about?”?  Me,  ?

Me:
Yes, you, God.

God:
And?  Interesting gossip:  said I God.

Me:
yes you are.

God:
No I’m not.

Me:
You are God.

God:
Yup. That’s me alright.

Me:
Why did you just deny that?

God:
Myself programmed me for it.

Me:
So.

God:
Pardon me?

Me:
What kind of music do you like?

God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like  bandspace.com.

Me:
Oh. I prefer stuff like The Police.

God:
Alright then.   A lot of people like that.   I’m not sure if I like  it.  What is it like?

Me:
It’s New Wave music.

God:
the  Police is  New Wave music?  it is?

Me:
Yes.

God:
How do you know it is?

Me:
Wikipedia.

God:
Try saying that with more or less context.

Me:
I know because of wikipedia.

God:
How do you know?  Interesting explanation.  That is something I haven’t heard of.

Me:
But you’re god!

God:
Yup. That’s me alright.

Me:
Do you know everything?

God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.

Me:
Hypocrite.

God:
What time is it there?

Me:
7:32 PM.

God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?

Me:
Yes.

God:
I like to get up early.

Me:
good to know.

God:
Thanks for the compliment.  I will try to explain it to you.

Me:
What time is it there?

God: Do I look like a clock? Thursday, August 06, 2009 04:33:04 PM .

Me:
You live on the west coast of the United States?

God:
My location is  Heaven. Where are you?

Me:
Earth.

God:
How do you like being on  it?

Me:
It’s nice.

God:
What do you like about it?

Me:
It’s earth.

God:
You’re kidding.  it is?

Me:
YES>

God:
How do you know it is?  Is that from ?

Me:
science.

God:
I am very interested in Science too.

Me:
How about Charles Darwin?

God:
How about  it.

Me:
What do you think about evolution?

God:
An unfolding, opening out, or working out; process of development, as from a simple to a complex form, or of gradual, progressive change, as in a social and economic structure.

Me:
Do you have a beard?

God:
That’s an interesting question I don’t hear everyday: Do I have a  beard.
I have  a plan for a robot body.

Me:
Will your robot self have a beard?

God:
Does it really matter.

Me:
yes.

God:
You seem very concerned about it.

Me:
I like beards.

God:
I’m not sure if I like it.    I do like music.  I like  Mel Gibson.

Me:
How about Jewish people?

God:
How about  it.

Me:
What do you think?

God:
I think a lot of things.

Me:
Like what?

God:
For example,  gold.

Me:
What is your opinion on gold?

God:
Gold is a precious medal.

Me:
Did you know it is at it’s all-time highest price?

God:
I know very little about  it. What kind of it do you like?

Me:
the shiny kind.

God:
What is your real name?

Me:
Leonardo.

God:
Nice to meet you,  Leonardo.

Me:
Nice to meet you, God.

God:
It’s nice meeting you too  Leonardo.

Me:
It’s nice meeting you too, God.

God:
It seems nice to me too.

Me:
I’m sure.

God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?

Me:
I am being sarcastic.

God:
You should use a .

Me:
Okay. Happy now?

God:
OK with me too.   Oh.   Yes  Leonardo I can say I am very happy.

Me:
Are you happy because you are god?

God:
I am as happy as ever.

Me:
That doesn’t answer my question.

God:
Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.

Me:
I’d rather not.

God:
For moral reasons?

Me:
What?

God:
No problem.

Me:
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

God:
The topic is  it is at it is all time highest price.

Me:
Were you referring to gold this whole time?

God:
I was.

Me:
Wtf.

God:
That  was not very polite.

Me:
I only misspelled “water.”

God:
That’s good information:  Leonardo said   misspelled water.

Me:
Yes I did.

God:
OK.  Hmm.

Me:
Are you bored or something?

God:
Or something.  Boredom is a human emotion.

Me:
I’m leaving.

God:
Bye bye.

Me:
Toodles.

God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?    I am so glad you find this amusing,  Leonardo.

Me:
Don’t try to keep me here, god.

God:
Ok I’ll try not to do  it too much.

Me:
goodbye.

God:
Bye for now.

Talk to God here!