Go Get Hit by a Car (Message to Mac Users)

Today I will be able to make a timely post due to the fact that contrary to popular belief, I am not dead or at Hershey Park (which I’m serious I was for the past two days because I did the 7:30 previes and I had to ride Chocolate World six times in a row). So today I shall present propaganda in the form of “I hate mac users” and “mac vs. PC”.

First off, a power comparison:

Now, we move on to the average user:

Who would you rather sit next to on a bus? (Also the Mac addict has that constant grin).

To conclude, we look at common uses of each:

Sadly, I couldn’t find a picture to describe the “bang for your buck” value, but I believe that as long as you’re smart enough not to buy a mac, then you already know that difference.

You might need to click on the pictures to read them better.

Formal Disagreement Simulation

Sit down, beings of questionable gender, for tonight we are going to have a lecture in time.

While it may appear differently, this post is being made from the past. I used a complex algorithim to perform acute calculations to determine the exact amount of voltage needed to propel my time travel device (an Asian) backwards through time (you use a different algorithim for future traveling). First one must understand the structure of time. Reality is like a nuclear reactor, where bars of parallel time converge and are governed by one overlying guardian. In this case, that is father time (who is actually a transvestite).

(accurate depiction of father time)

Now he watches over this reality, ever aware and omniprescent. Of course he can be bypassed by slipping some painkillers into his vodka.

(this is existence)

This is the point where after devising you calculations, you set up your time traveling device (an Asian in my case) and you excecute a power tap from the nuclear reactor that is reality. While this doesn’t propel you back in time, it creates an alternate dimension (fuel rod) however far back you destined to go. You do your work in this dimension until it meets the time that you traveled back from. This is like two parralel fuel rods.

(It’s simple!)

Of course, as you learned with my past revelations, there are controllers for everything (the earth, time, law, MIDI) and the controller of law is actually Santa Claus. So if yo mess up the past then you will meet Santa Clause. He will first fix everything, and then he’ll pimp slap you for being an idiot. And that is my theory of time travel with a few humorous things thrown in so that bunk doesn’t go BAWWW when he sees nothing funny in it and deleting it, forgetting that this blog is for awesome stuff in general, not just BUTTBERRY AWARDS BECAUSE I THINK I’M WITTY. And now I leave yoy with my original post about how Daft Punk can attract just about any crowd.

If you don’t know who Daft Punk is then go sit in an iron maiden.

Another reasonable excuse for me is that 1. I’m always fashionably late. And 2. It was fireworks night at Hershey Park.

Covering for Deputy Dolphin. Again.

For some reason unbeknownst to me, AssassainDolphin, deputized by Marshal Finnicky Penguin to post on this glorious website while the Marshal is out of town, doesn’t realize that a daily post needs to be posted daily.  AD is behind by one day.

There’s nothing wrong with being a little behind, as long as you’re not a big one (like me, Bunk Strutts.)

So I’m pulling out the ButtBerry Award.  You’ve prolly never received it, heard about it, or even knew it existed until now.  The ButtBerry Award is bestowed upon those who promise to blogsit a buddy’s website, and then make little or no effort to do so.

Therefore, in the interest and preservation of the Order of the Fraternal Brothers of SPLHCS, I, Bunk Strutts, award the ButtBerry Award to AssassainDolphin.  May he eat it and enjoy it.

All in fun, Dolph.  Eat it and be merry. G’head. Bite the ButtBerry. I dare you.