From My Laboratory In The Castle East

Monsterday 6! Now with 4 monsters! That’s right, I’ve added another monster in!

Name: Dinosaurus Bunnicus Triangulus; the Dinorabbit Trianguloid (Egyptian Variety)

Attitude: Although usually angry monsters, they appear very peaceful because, well, they drink. Miller Light.

Example of Speech: “TASTE GREAT!!! LESS FILLING!!!”

Traits: It’s arms show that is an Egyptian because this particular species walks like one. No one’s sure about why it has rabbit ears, but it is speculated that they are for looking funny. This monster tries not to overeat, but regardless, it goes straight to their thighs, as shown by the photo (Hint: The only dinosaur part is the tail.).

Name: Sluggus Jawluss; the Jawless Walking Slug

Attitude: I like the way this monster thinks. He is a huge Mr. T fan. Because it’s mouth is always open, it usually shouts.

Example of Speech: “MR.T is amazing me and my friend Hugh think he is so cool. we even both bought MR.T hanheld soundboards! MR.T ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Traits: Knowing that this monster is a slug, you know what is a fun thing to do? Salt it. Unfortunately, it is more resistant and will die a slower death than a normal slug, which means salting=your head bitten off.

Name: Antennus Literus Crabbicus; the Literate Antenna Crab

Attitude: This particular species can read, write, and speak very well. This monster is credited as one of the smartest in existence, even without being a member of the Intellectus species.

Example of Speech: “I was actually in the recent book regarding 6 word memoirs. I was felt really pleased and lucky. I got a promo copy of the book and discovered that I was in some really swank company, too. All in all, the 6 word memoir is a really cool concept. “

Traits: How does this monster become so smart? The antenna on it’s head allows it to tune into any frequency of radio waves and learn. It also enjoys Rush Limbaugh.

Name: Vibrantus Blockus Crabbicus; the Vibrant Block Crab

Attitude: These monsters typically try to be right and correct others, as shown by a part of a discussion about a suspicious reaching hand.

Example of Speech: “no he’s reaching for assassaindolphin’s hand 2 shake it”

Traits: These monsters are usually very elusive because of over-hunting. They are hunted in forests because of their bright colors, so they usually hide in the sewers, and even though my blog is a complex series of sewers, you won’t see this monster much if you see it at all. You may think that the pink on top of its head is a brain, but, in fact, is a beehive hair do made of cotton candy.

 

Hey Clem!

We can goescuba divin’!

Thanks.

Interesting Stuff

Take the time to read this…

• Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58
• Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85
• Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches
• Percentage of bird species that are monogamous: 90
• Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3
• Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7
• Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3
• Only bird that can fly backwards: Hummingbird
• Only continent without reptiles or snakes: Antarctica
• An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.
• In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.
• February 1865 was the only month in recorded history that didn’t have a full moon.
• Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
• The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
• When George Lucas was mixing the American Graffiti soundtrack, he numbered the reels of film starting with an R and numbered the dialog starting with a D. Sound designer Walter Murch asked George for Reel 2, Dialog 2 by saying “R2D2″. George liked the way that sounded so much he integrated that into another project he was working on.
• The youngest pope was 11 years old.
• Mark Twain didn’t graduate from elementary school.
• Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.
• Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.
• Your nose and ears never stop growing.
• They have square watermelons in Japan…they stack better.
• Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
• Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.
• It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
• Men get hiccups more often than women.
• Armadillos can be housebroken.
• Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.
• The first Fords had engines made by Dodge.
• A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night.
• Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
• Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone.
• A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside.
• A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.
• A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
• Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.
• The flashing warning light on the cylindrical Capitol Records tower spells out HOLLYWOOD in Morse code.
• Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
• The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
• One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
• The average American will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year.
• You’re born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206.
• Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
• Over 1000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.
• The State of Florida is bigger than England.
• Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning.
• It’s against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.
• Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.
• Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark.
• During your lifetime, you’ll eat about 60,000 pounds of food. That’s the weight of about 6 elephants.
• Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can’t find any food.
• Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
• The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old.
• In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can’t flow.
• About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30.
• More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.
• A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
• Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.
• In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons.
• Slugs have 4 noses.
• Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.
• Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet.
• Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.
• The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.
• It’s against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland.
• There wasn’t a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.
• Honeybees have hair on their eyes.
• A jellyfish is 95 percent water.
• In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals.
• A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.
• The elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump.
• The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly.
• The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
• Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
• One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.
• America once issued a 5-cent bill.
• You’ll eat about 35,000 cookies in your lifetime.
• Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.
• Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under is cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings.
• Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung.
• A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.
• A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.
• Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
• The pitches that Babe Ruth hit for his last-ever homerun and that Joe DiMaggio hit for his first-ever homerun where thrown by the same man.
• Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
• The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head.
• In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.
• There are over 52.6 million dogs in the U.S.
• Dogs and cats consume almost $7 billion worth of pet food a year.
• Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.
• Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.
• The Pentagon has twice as many restrooms as necessary. When it was built, segregation was still in place in Virginia, so separate restrooms for blacks and whites were required by law.
• In England, in the 1880′s, “Pants” was considered a dirty word.
• Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
• In 2003, there were 86 days of below-freezing weather in Hell, Michigan.
• The average person laughs 15 times a day.

 

You are now more knowledgeable.

Ross and Kelly—Have you ever eaten a square watermelon or seen a dog toupee?

I’ve found this stuff here, but viewer discretion is advised.

Yeah We Like Waffles

This video is incredibly necessary.

Thanks.

I apologize for the comment flood.

Watermelon Men!

I’ve received these via email, so I don’t know the source. Here they are…

First off, have you ever wondered how they get the water in the melon?

And afterwards, the other watermelon man goes for a swim.

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In the comments, please be sure to put your head on the keyboard and roll your head back and forth.